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A Voice In the Wilderness
by Dr. Loran W, Helm
   
All rights reservered    EVANGEL VOICE MISSIONS     Used by permission
   

Chapters:

  1.  Why Don't Men Obey God?
  2.  My Father
  3.  Narrow Escapes From Death
  4.  My Mother
  5.  My Father's Conversion
  6.  God First Speaks
  7.  Tithing Opens The Way
  8.  Childlike Faith
  9.  A Child's Prayer
10.  Parental Discipline
11.  Conversion
12.  First Obedience
13.  Jesus Reveals My Companion
14.  Sanctification
15.  Our First Pastorate
16.  "Come With Me, Son..."
17.  "...And Perfect Will Of God"
18.  Ordination
19.  Baptized With The Holy Spirit
20.  The Calling
21.  Spiritual Burdens
22.  Leaving All
23.  Waiting On God
24.  Home Built By Faith
25.  Warning From A Watchman
26.  The Beginning



	
Ora and Grace Spence with their daughter, Florence.
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     19 BAPTIZED WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT 

When I awakened the next day, I was starting a life altogether different than that which had gone before. I was no longer following the patterns of men or of the earth, I was simply trusting Jesus. God began to work, and before long the community was stirred up. I didn't know it was going to happen, for I wasn't aware that when you walk with God you stir people; but I began to learn it. As you read about how God worked through each of His servants, you begin to discover that God's men create upheaval in the carnal heart. However, unless you get in the battle yourself, you'll only know this theoretically in your mind. To experience it is a different matter. But I was happy in Jesus. I knew little about the future, but I was looking to God who holds the future in His hand. During November I would return to the parsonage and try to tell Florence what all God was doing with me. "Honey, God is slaying me," I would say. "I am dying--I am dying." She would look at me, trying to understand what I really meant. "Is that right?" she would reply. "Yes," I would tell her, laying my hand over my heart "God is slaying this self-life. I am dying right here inside." Day after day, for weeks and months, He persisted in slaying out of me little hidden things: little ways which weren't pleasing to Him; little ideas that were of the earth and not of Heaven. It was marvelous, but it was a death, believe me. This continued through December of 1941 into the following year, through January, February, and March.

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The last day of March, 1942, I began a series of evangelistic services. When I entered the pulpit that night I felt normal in my body and soul. As soon as I opened the service, however, God began to take me into an area of the Spirit which I never knew existed. There is no way to describe how God was working within me and around me. I have seldom heard of anyone being in such a place. It was a realm of suffering, revelation, and crucifixion which words could never embrace. God was helping me to know: "Son, you have gone about as far as you can go on your own." When I arrived home that night, I knew that I must get to my bed; and that is where God kept me for about two-and-a-half to three weeks. I was unable to get up; and if I tried, He put me back in bed. God talked to me day and night. He talked to me more from midnight to four in the morning--when my wife, my children, and the village were asleep--than any other time. I was unable to sleep because God was revealing to me about Eternity. He was speaking to me about my mission on earth, about the great need of the Church. Because of the light I kept on, Florence couldn't rest and had to sleep in another room. During the day I would call her to me. "God is calling me!" I would try to tell her. "He is talking to me. He is telling me some things." She would answer, "Yes, I know that God is doing it." Night after night, day after day, God marvelously worked with me. He would open the scriptures to my understanding and shine the light of His truth on various areas of my soul, revealing hidden needs and carnal ways in my heart, and in the hearts of men, which grieved Him. Each evening, Rev. Homer Pumphrey and his wife, Rebecca, would come over to the house. The devil would try to tell them, "Don't go back tonight. You are wearing out your welcome. Just stay at home." But each night, here they would come from their parsonage home twelve miles away.
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You talk about being happy to see somebody! I was so delighted each time they would come, for hardly anyone understood what I was passing through. I tried to tell a few what God was doing with me, but I don't know whether anyone comprehended it much. Even I couldn't grasp all of what God was doing. I was simply trusting Jesus. I would tell the Pumphreys, "God is talking to me! God is doing wonderful things with me!" They would listen and try to grasp what I was striving in my feeble way to share. They were a great encouragement to my wife and me at this time. One night I began to tell them the message God had given me out of the third chapter of Colossians: "If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affections on things above; not on things on the earth." When I first started to share with them, it seemed as if Homer was three city blocks from me in spiritual distance; yet, he had visited us night after night and was trying his best to understand me. Soon, however, the Holy Ghost got hold of his heart, picked him up in his soul, and set him down real close to me. I was sharing all that I could tell him as fast as I could get it out, and he was listening with all the energy that was in him. "This is wonderful!" he would say. "This is such a precious message!" The Holy Spirit was giving it and Homer was feasting. So was I. It was while I was still on my bed that a precious handmaid of Jesus felt led of the Lord to pray and fast at the altar of Shideler Church. She went to the altar at ten-thirty Sunday morning while my father conducted the service for me. She prayed all day and on into the night. She had prayed at that altar twenty-two hours when at eight- thirty in the morning, while I was still asleep, the power of God began flowing through me in waves of glory. Before I was fully awake, wave after wave of the Holy Spirit was moving through my body! I was being baptized with the
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Holy Ghost under the glory, the power, and the presence of Jesus! This continued for nearly four hours. It was the most wonderful experience of His love--for when the power would come through me at intervals, it came in wave after wave of love. There is no way of telling the love which flowed from my heart to my enemies, to those who hated me, to all men, following my baptism by the Holy Ghost. Of course, the love of Jesus flowing from your heart to all people is the true manifestation of the Holy Spirit's indwelling. The initial evidence of the baptism with the Holy Spirit is not talking in a language unfamiliar to us. The true evidence is the flow of divine love to every person in the earth. Jesus did not say, "A new commandment I give unto you, that ye speak in an unknown language." He said: "...That ye love one another as I have loved you." There is a gift of speaking in tongues, as Paul instructed us in First Corinthians twelve; but it is not wise to press for this particular gift. God administers this sacred gift to those whom He wills. Spiritual immaturity will pursue the gifts of God, but spiritual maturity will seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. The glory of God was so within me and about the parsonage that I couldn't begin to tell people about it. I sent Florence to bring my Sunday School superintendent and his wife, Addie. When they came into my room, I tried to tell them of the great riches God had for all who would follow Him. "It is for you," I would tell them. "God wants to do wonderful things!" They didn't quite know what to do, but they knew God was there and it was precious. Addie knelt, praying earnestly until she was numb into the knuckles and into the toes. As she prayed she began to reach a little of the wonder I was trying to describe. "Oh, my dear ones!" she declared. "The presence of God is so great just above us! I can't tell you what I sense. If God would see fit to descend upon us, it
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would be marvelous what He would do in this age!" She caught a glimpse of the Spiritual Awakening God wanted to send--a true Holy Ghost Revival to the World. I requested Orville H. to bring a dear holiness mother to see me. She answered him, "Orville, I am too sick to go; but I will send some scripture." She wrote down the verse of scripture on her daily devotional calendar: Leviticus 20:26--"And ye shall be holy unto me: for I the Lord am holy and have severed you from other people, that ye should be mine." Think of that! Of all the verses from God's Word she could have sent me, Jesus had arranged everything so precisely that just this scripture should appear on her calendar at that date: "...I HAVE SEVERED YOU FROM OTHER PEOPLE, THAT YE SHOULD BE MINE." I was so thankful. I knew this scripture to be verification from God of what He had been showing me concerning my calling. That very morning, this woman's daughter, Nora, had a vision. She lived about seventeen miles away in Roll, Indiana, and I had not seen her since she had sung for us at Oak Grove nearly four years before. But that morning she saw me standing before her. God spoke to her and said, "Go get your mother and take her to see Rev. Helm." She hurried all the way to her mother's home. "Mother," she announced, "the Lord told me to take you to Rev. Helm." She looked at her daughter and replied, "Why Child, he already sent for me, but I am just not able to go." "I will dress you and take you," Nora insisted. "I just don't think I can make it," her mother answered. "Yes, you can." Nora said, "because God has told me to do it." She dressed her mother, helped her into the old car and brought her to see me. I still marvel that the very thing God had prompted me to work out earlier in the day, He accomplished perfectly, giving this dear mother and me a sweet time together in prayer. This was another encourage-
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ment to my heart that what I was going through in my spirit was of the Kingdom of God. All during this time the Holy Ghost continued to fall upon me and move through me in waves of His love. He was so precious. About all I could do was praise God and give thanks to Jesus. In the days when God came upon me, slayed me, worked with me, and took out of me many things which were hindering His Spirit, I had to die out to everything. I could not do what I wanted. I had numerous responsibilities which seemed necessary and important, but I could do only that which God wanted me to do. When He took me to the river of death, I saw that nothing mattered in this world but God's will. When I stood at the very edge of death, I knew that nothing mattered at all but doing God's will absolutely. Nothing else is going to last but what God directs, what He guides, and He initiates. Nothing! And while God was bringing me into the depth of these marvelous revelations concerning His Kingdom and His work in the hearts of men, about all I could do was walk with Jesus and talk to the birds and the flowers. It was as if I were in another world. God has taken us through many experiences, my friend. It is only by His grace that we have made it, for there were many pressures upon us--difficulties so immense that I am unable to share them. The pressure was this: would we bend to man or would we go with Heaven? God will test you, dear one, to see what kind of person you are. He knows in the first place, but He is wanting us to discover it ourselves. Most people will not stand when they are put to the test. Most people have carnality, evil, and iniquity inside of them. God wants to remove that by placing us in some difficult situations where we must submit everything to Him in order to make it through. But very few will press on into the struggle that God may inwardly cleanse them. Most persons will bend to the flesh and
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detour the path of trust, which goes right into the heart of the battle. But if we submit, believe God, and press on in faith, He will cleanse the carnality and inner weakness out of us. It is only through Jesus Christ that we can survive the battle, and we must remain in that place of submission all the time for our hearts to remain clear, cleansed, and undefiled. On the third morning that this precious handmaid had prayed at the altar of the church, she requested that Florence come and pray with her. This meant that I would have to care for our three children and see after the needs of the home. I was so in the Spirit, however, I couldn't do anything but walk with God and talk to Him. "Jesus," I said, "you will have to help us. I don't know what to do but trust you." My wife went next door to the church to join this sister in prayer. (Years later this woman told us, "When Florence came into the church that morning, she looked like an angel to me." It was so important that she go to pray with her.) But how was I going to take care of our three children? Who was going to prepare the meals? How would I pay the light bill? I had no answer, I was just simply trusting Jesus to work out the situation. Seated in a wicker chair outside on the porch at eight- thirty that morning. I looked up, and who should be driving around the corner towards the parsonage but Rebecca Pumphrey. As soon as I saw her I started rejoicing. Rebecca stopped the car in front, came up through the yard with their little daughter, Barbara, in hand, and asked "Oh, Rev. Helm, do you need me? I'm not accustomed to the voice of God. I got up early this morning at six o'clock to wash our clothes, and I put a bucket of water in the tub to heat when God said, `Go to the Helm's.' I put another bucket in, and the Lord would say, `Go to Helm's.' The devil would say, `Don't go. You have been over there every night for two weeks and have worn out your welcome.'"
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As she told me I was happy. I was saying, "Praise the Lord!" She continued, "You know, each time I put a bucket of water in the tub, the Lord said, `Go to Helm's.' Finally I got Homer up and I said, `Homer, pray with me because I am not accustomed to the voice of Jesus, and I think He is telling me to go over to Florence and Loran's.' He felt I should come over. I had to come. Do you need me, Brother Helm?" I looked down at her with deep gratitude in my heart and said, "Rebecca, if ever a servant of God needed assistance, we surely need you today!" God had told her to come just as she was, in her work dress. He knew that she was needed to look after our children. She was going to prepare the meals, purchase a few groceries, and drive in to pay the light bill. How very badly she was needed, and what a great help she was that day, no one will ever know. The following day I was seated in the dining room looking out the window when I saw a tree--a beautiful cherry tree. It was round like the earth, and had fruits all over it just beginning to turn red. It was an early spring, way ahead of most springs that I can remember. I had never seen this tree so amply covered with fruit before, nor did I see it so afterwards. I was lifted to a realm of a vision as I spoke out of my heart, "Jesus, that cherry tree is like the earth. As this tree rests on its trunk, the earth spins about its own axis. Oh Jesus," I cried, "all these cherries are nearly developed fruits all over the earth. I can see them." And He said to me, "Yes, that tree is like the earth. And as the cherries cover the whole tree, my Spirit covers the earth." "But, " I asked, "If your Spirit so richly covers the earth, why are men such spiritual skeletons? Your Spirit is so plentiful and abundant, yet we are starved."
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That very second, a live dove flew into the middle of that tree. At the same instant, God spoke within me: "BY ME, THE HOLY GHOST, THEY WILL BE FED. ONLY BY ME, THE HOLY GHOST, CAN THEY BE FED." Then another dove fluttered into the tree beside its mate. God again spoke within me: "BY ME, THE HOLY GHOST, THEY WILL BE FED. THEY CAN ONLY BECOME SPIRITUAL, AS I, THE SPIRIT, FEED THEM." He was revealing to my heart that you and I cannot do anything without the leadership of the Holy Spirit. Unless God begins something by His Holy Spirit, our labor cannot bring life to it. He was trying to help me see that His guidance, His leadership, His will was supreme above all our finest goals or fondest hopes. --"BY ME, THE HOLY GHOST, THEY WILL BE FED. ONLY BY ME, THE HOLY GHOST, CAN THEY BE FED."
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