"Mary," my father told my mother one day in New Castle,  "we 
        must go back to Parker City."
        
             "But, Eldon," she replied.  "Why?"  She felt that they  were 
        working where God wanted them.
        
             "I  need to go back to get some finance so that I  can  give 
        our  eldest  son  an education," Dad replied.   "God  is  calling 
        Loran.   (And when I share this with you, the power of  God  goes 
        right  through  me.)   He needs to have an  education.   We  must 
        return to Parker."
        
             It broke my mother's heart, for she didn't want to leave the 
        pastorate;  but  we returned to Parker in  September,  1927.   My 
        father borrowed three hundred dollars from Mr. Mark Broadwater to 
        buy a little old tank truck and start out to sell White Lightning 
        gasoline.
        
             Dad's  finance was quite limited during the next two  years, 
        but  he  and Mother continued to pray and trust.   He  sold  very 
        little gasoline, because he had to start in at the very beginning 
        again.   But he and Mother held on in prayer day after  day,  and 
        God  began to bless.  After a time he was hired as the  agent  of 
        the  Sinclair  Refining  Company, but his  predecessor  had  been 
        selling only two thousand gallons a month; scarcely enough to pay 
        the light bill and the taxes.
        
             One day my mother answered a knock on the door.  A man  said 
        to her, "Tell your husband to come and see me."  My father signed 
        him  as a customer, and earned four hundred dollars a month  from 
        him  alone.  In depression times, four hundred dollars  would  be 
        equivalent now to about fifteen
        
75
        
        
        hundred dollars.  Only one account!  The Lord began to honor  the 
        trust  of  my parents by this great increase in  their  business.  
        Praise the Lord for supplying.
        
             Mother  has shared that, because of God's watchful  care  of 
        us,  in  the midst of the depression my father was  able  to  buy 
        boxes  of groceries and have them sent to needy homes.  He  would 
        buy  baskets  of  supplies  and  tell  the  grocer,  "Take  these 
        groceries to so-and-so, but don't tell them where they came from.  
        I  don't  want anyone to know that they came from me."   God  was 
        blessing him so wonderfully, and he had to share with others some 
        of the increase.
       
             Mother  was suffering greatly from time to time during  this 
        period,  troubled  both  with  gall  bladder  and  heart ailment.  
        Raising  six boys when their mother was ill was not an easy  task 
        for  my  father, but he handled the assignment well.   He  was  a 
        strong  and powerful man.  He seldom told us something more  than 
        once.  What he said, he meant, and we learned that we had best do 
        what he said, exactly as he said it.
        
             I  wanted to please my father in everything.  If he told  me 
        to  give so much corn to the hogs, I wanted to provide just  that 
        amount.  If he ordered so much hay for the cows, that is  exactly 
        what I wanted to give them, no more and no less.  When he  showed 
        me  how to hoe beans, I tried to do it just as he showed  me.   I 
        never enjoyed gardening.  My second brother liked to work in  the 
        garden, but it was real work for me.  I believe the Lord had work 
        for  me  in another garden--the garden of the  soul;  plowing  up 
        hardened hearts, planting the seed of God's love, and hoeing  out 
        the weeds of doubt, fear, hatred, and animosity.
        
             The  six  of  us  boys  were  taught  to  obey  quickly  and 
        cheerfully.  Whenever we were out of line, our father brought  us 
        back  in line quickly.  After we were older, Mother taught us  to 
        sing,  and  we would sing in various churches.  Looking  back  on 
        that  early  training period we have said, "Mother taught  us  to 
        sing, and Dad kept us in tune."
        
76
       
        
             He  employed  a special method in tuning us up.   He  had  a 
        buggy  tug  about eight to ten inches long.  Right up  where  the 
        buggy tug went over the singletree it was hard leather, and there 
        were  three holes in it.  Do you remember that?  In  about  every 
        buggy  tug  there were three holes, and about an inch or  two  up 
        from  the last hole the leather was very limber.  Dad cut it  off 
        about  eight inches up beyond that third hole, split it down  the 
        middle, folded it up and carried it in his hip pocket.   Whenever 
        any us six boys got out of line, he took that whip and laid it on 
        us real well.
        
             I  remember  that when my father whipped me, he  whipped  me 
        hard.  He would discipline me because he loved me.  The more  you 
        love someone, the more you want them to go straight.  I know this 
        is true not only because of experience, but also because the Word 
        says, Whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth." When we get out of
        line, if we are really His children, God will apply the rod to us.
        
             My father disciplined each of us boys differently, but  when 
        he  punished  me,  I  didn't want to do  that  which  caused  the 
        whipping   anymore.   But,  because  I  needed  much   help   and 
        instruction,  I  would receive another tanning in  two  or  three 
        weeks  about something else.  He disciplined all my  brothers  as 
        well.  If he had failed to do this, we could have missed what  we 
        are in the world for.  If I had not had a father who  disciplined 
        me, and who was willing to be severe and consistent with me, I do 
        not  believe that I would have been called as God has  called  me 
        (and  when  I tell you this, I receive the witness  of  the  Holy 
        Spirit that this is true).
        
           Think of the seriousness of this! The Holy Spirit 
        witnesses to the fact that, unless my father had lovingly 
        disciplined me-whipped me severely upon each disobedience,
        and consistently put me in line--I would have missed the
        glorious Church and never known the purpose for which I 
        was put on earth.  
        
        
             You see, the need of our flesh is greater than we know.   It 
        requires  a  heart firm in discipline to walk the path  of  self-
        denial under the cross.  Without self-denial after conversion,
        
77
        
        
        we  never  reach the cross.  And unless we take up  a  cross,  we 
        never truly become a disciple of Jesus, for He said in 
        Luke 14:27: "...Whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after 
        me,  cannot  be my disciple."  
        
             The  cross is not some trial, struggle, or tragic  situation 
        which  may befall you.  The cross is an instrument of death  upon 
        which  Self  is crucified.  It is never forced upon  me  or  you.  
        Each  person must personally resolve in his heart to  unalterably 
        pursue  the way of the cross, even as Jesus steadfastly  set  his 
        face  towards Jerusalem where His ignominious death awaited  Him.  
        The  cross  is actually the life lived in accordance  with  God's 
        perfect will, and we must  volunteer  to seek and  do 
        only God's will.
        
             Once  we  choose God's way entirely, we are pointed  in  the 
        direction of the cross, but we have not yet taken up the cross to 
        follow  Jesus.   The only hands which grip the cross  are  "self-
        denial" and "obedience."  The spiritual hands which  actually 
        apprehend  and maintain a life lived according to God's will  are 
        "self-denial" and "obedience."   Unless we deny Self  and 
        obey God moment by moment, we'll not even be able to take hold of 
        the  cross.  If we do not daily deny ourselves--what we  want 
        and  desire--to wait upon God until He is able to teach  us  what 
        the Holy Spirit wants us to do, we are missing what  Christianity 
        is all about. 
        
             Do you begin to see how narrow this Way is?  And, because it 
        is  more narrow than the fleshly mind is either willing to  admit 
        or  even able to comprehend, we must be consistently  disciplined 
        in  order to prepare our hearts to remain on the Narrow Way  once 
        we begin.
        
             I recall a class discussion in college regarding how soon we 
        should  discipline  our  children.  Some said at  the  age  three 
        years,  others  said at two months, six months, a  year.   But  a 
        voice  spoke  up,  saying;  "We probably should  begin  with  the 
        grandparents  fifty  years  before the child is  born."   He  was 
        suggesting   that   we  need  generation  after   generation   of 
        disciplined individuals.  We need discipline in the home,
        
78
        
        
        
        in  the church, in the school, and at work.  We need to press  to 
        uprightly and circumspectly before God, with clean hands and a pure
        heart; not lifting up our heart to vanity nor swearing deceitfully.
 
             If  we  are going to walk with clean  hands, it will surely
        be because we have been disciplined and because we are continuing to
        be disciplined.  We must go to the cross and remain humbly under the 
        load  of God's holy assignment.  We must discipline ourselves  to 
        live  lives of self-denial before the Throne in  prayer,  crying, 
        "Oh, God, lead me, help me, direct me," otherwise we will  bypass 
        the  cross  and not know it.  It is a great challenge to  live  a 
        life  of  self-denial.  It is a continual pressing, and  we  must 
        discipline  ourselves rigorously.  Now this is simple, but it  is 
        worth  the entire book if you are willing to hear and  assimilate 
        this in your heart.
        
             We  must also discipline our children or we will lose  them. 
        Sometimes  we  work so earnestly to save other children  that  we 
        lose our own.  Many people in the church are working  unsparingly 
        to win souls, but lose their own children by not chastening them, 
        by  not disciplining them.  We lose our young people as  well  by 
        praying  inconsistently,  by criticizing people before  them,  by 
        failing to be a true witness of Jesus in our daily lives.   It is 
        not what we preach and teach that really matters so much:  it  is 
        how we treat our companion, how we really love our neighbors, and 
        what we actually do or say that tells our children what we  truly 
        believe in our hearts.  What we are in our hearts springs out  of 
        our everyday life, and we are not aware of it.
        
             About  twenty or thirty years ago, an idea began to  receive 
        popular  acceptance which said, "Let the child  express  himself.  
        Let  him do as he pleases.  If he wants to mark on the wall,  let 
        him  mark on the wall.  If he wants to sit on the floor, let  him 
        sit.   Whatever he wants to do, permit him self-expression."   We 
        have been in a whirl ever since.
        
             Susanna  Wesley, mother of nineteen children and  the  woman 
        who gave the world John and Charles Wesley, re-
        
79
        

        corded,  upon  request,  her principles  of  child-rearing  which 
        produced such monumental success in forming Christian  character.  
        She is a very brief and to the point:
        
               "When turned a year (and some before), they were taught to 
             fear the rod and cry softly; by which means they escaped the 
             abundance of correction they might otherwise have had....
        
               "In  order to form the minds of children, the first  thing 
             to  be  done  is to conquer the will and bring  them  to  an 
             obedient temper."*
        
        She tells, to some extent, how she did this.  Her children,  once 
        strong,  were  confined to three meals a day.   They  were  never 
        permitted  to eat between meals and made to eat whatever was  set 
        before  them.   They  were corrected early in order  to  avoid  a 
        stubborn nature, which, once ingrown, would have taken  excessive 
        punishment  to  remove.   She called those  parents  "cruel"  who 
        playfully develop patterns and habits in the children which later 
        must be broken.
        
             She  insisted  that once a child is corrected,  he  must  be 
        conquered.  He is to be brought early to revere and stand in  awe 
        of  his parents.  No willful transgression was ever permitted  to 
        escape without chastisement.  She wrote:
        
               "I  insist upon conquering the will of  children  betimes, 
             because this is the only strong and rational foundation of a 
             religious education; without which both precept and  example 
             will  be  ineffectual. . . . I cannot dismiss this  subject.
              As self-will is the root of all sin and misery,
             so  whatever  cherishes  this in children insures thereafter
             wretchedness and irreligion.  Whatever checks and  mortifies
             it  (self-will)  promotes their future happiness
             and piety."
        
             This  woman of the eighteenth century put her finger on  the 
        very   culprit  which  is  now  crowding  our   divorce   courts, 
        overflowing our prisons, discouraging our precious teachers,  and 
        causing  many of our police officials to resign--  SELF-WILL. 
           She  cites Self-Will alone as the  cause  of  all 
        misery and all sin. 
        
        *Quotation  from:  "Children Can Be Taught To Obey,"  William  W. 
          Orr,  Scripture  Press Publications, Inc.,  Wheaton,  Illinois. 
          (Emphasis inserted by the editor.)
        
80
        
        
        Declaring herself absolutely an enemy of this innate  perversion, 
        she determines to drive it from the heart of her children  before 
        it crushes the principle and substance of goodness from them.

             To  many, this may sound severe and stern.  This is  because 
        our  minds have been instructed by the counselors of this  world.  
        We have been bent to the ideas of the earth, whereas God wants us 
        lifted to the heavenly pattern of His Word.
        
             She continues very soberly:
        
               "This is still more evident if we  further  consider  that 
             religion is nothing else than doing the will of God, and not 
             our  own;  that the one grand impediment to our temporal
             and eternal happiness is this self-will.   No indul-
             gence of it can be trivial, no denial unprofitable.
        
                "Heaven or hell depends upon this alone.   So
             that the parent who studies to subdue it in his child, works
             together with God in the renewing and saving of a soul.  The
             parent who indulges it does the devil's work, makes religion 
             impractical,  salvation unattainable, and does all  that  in 
             him lies to damn his child, soul and body, forever."
        
             So  this sacred assignment of raising children is much  more 
        serious than we can imagine.  It isn't an easy task, although  it 
        is  a wonderful privilege, filled with great joy and  innumerable 
        delights.
        
             Mrs. Wesley also confessed:
        
                "No one can, without renouncing the world in the most 
             literal sense, observe my method (of child-rearing);   
             and there are few, if any, that would entirely  devote  above 
             twenty years of the prime of life in hopes to save the souls 
             of their children, which they think may be saved without  so 
             much  ado;  for  that was my  principle  intention,  however 
             unskillful and unsuccessfully managed."
        
             And my father made "much ado" about our obeying.  He  didn't 
        have  many  who  sympathized with his efforts,  even  as  Susanna 
        Wesley predicted.  He had to renounce the opinions of most of the 
        world.   His  relatives and church people thought  him  much  too 
        strict.  But I want to testify, and my
        
81
        
        
        five   brothers  would  likewise  declare,  that  it   paid   off 
        marvelously to the credit side.
        
             If  I had had any trouble with the school teacher,  I  would 
        have  had  trouble with my dad as well.  Therefore, I saw  to  it 
        that I didn't have any trouble at school.  I didn't look for  the 
        faults of my teachers, I looked for the good qualities.  If  they 
        had any faults, I didn't dare think much about them.
        
             But if I hadn't been disciplined, I wouldn't have been  that  
        way.   I would have brought back tales of how the teacher  didn't 
        like me and made things hard for me.  I would have whined,  found 
        fault,  and  criticized her to my parents; that is, if  they  had 
        listened or sympathized with me.
        
             One  of the biggest things we do to our children  is  pamper 
        and  pet  them with sympathy toward the flesh, which  passes  for 
        Christian compassion.  What we are actually doing is training our 
        child to feel sorry for himself in disappointment and find excuse 
        for the satisfying of his own desires.  When he is older, he will 
        retreat  from any situation demanding fortitude and  courage;  he 
        will  by-pass  human activities requiring  inner  steadiness  and 
        maturity of mind.
        
             I tell you, friends, there are things in us that need to  be 
        taken out, and  if we don't take them out of our children--if  we 
        don't  break our children when they are little--they  will  break 
        us  and grind us down when they are twelve or older.   Unless 
        we  severely  discipline our children, they may not  make  it  to 
        Heaven.     In  fact,  the  chances  are  slim  that   an 
        undisciplined  child will ever continue to walk with God even  if 
        Jesus  can  bring  him  to conversion,  for  the  heart  bent  in 
        childhood  to self-satisfaction and self-desire will seldom  bend 
        to the will of God following conversion.
        
             Now  I  know  that  many believe that  once  you  have  been 
        converted, your reward in Heaven is secure.  But God's Word tells 
        us  very plainly through the voice of Jesus in   Matthew 
        7:21:   "Not everyone that saith Lord, Lord shall enter into  the 
        Kingdom of Heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father  which 
        is in Heaven."   These precious ones feel that
        
82

        
        
        the will of God is just to be converted.  But the Holy Spirit has 
        revealed to me that God's will is to direct us and to lead us  in 
        our  daily  lives.  This means that we are to obey God  in  every 
        aspect of our lives.  It declares plainly that we are to be holy, 
        yielded,  and  submissive to God's will and to  His  plans.    
        This  is  the cross  --it is accepting gladly  and  doing 
        willingly  not what we wish or what we choose or what we  select, 
        but  doing  what God wishes for our day by day  activities.   
        This  is what the Christian life is about.  It is  obeying  Jesus 
        just as He obeyed God. 
        
             But the undisciplined heart will by-pass the cross; it  will 
        resist self-denial, and will insist on having its own way.   Once 
        we choose our own way, we are headed the opposite way from  God's 
        Kingdom and from Heaven.  You say to me, "Why Brother Helm,  this 
        is  serious!"  Yes it is: more serious than I can ever say.   Not 
        many people want to hear it, but I must declare the truth to  all 
        persons faithfully, always.
        
             I  recall coming home one time and my wife informed me  that 
        one  of  my brothers was having difficulty with his son,  two  to 
        three  years of age.  It seemed that every time they brought  him 
        into  a church he would just scream and yell and carry  on.   So, 
        they  had  to simply take him out of the sanctuary and  go  home.  
        They  couldn't  bring him into the church or else he  would  make 
        such  a commotion.  I asked my brother, "May I give you a  little 
        advice?"   He  said that I might and I suggested  to  him,  "Next 
        Sunday morning when your little one starts carrying on like that, 
        you take him down in the basement and tune him up so well that he 
        won't ever want to go back."
        
             He  said, "Oh, I hadn't thought of that."  The next  Sunday, 
        the little son began the same thing--screaming, crying, yelling--
        and  my  brother took him out.  The child  stopped  crying  right 
        away, of course, because he thought he was going home again.  But 
        he wasn't.  His dad carried him to the base-
        
83
        
        
        ment  and  gave that little fellow a tanning.   He  punished  him 
        soundly.
        
             (Many  parents give their children two or three  spanks  and 
        feel  they have corrected them.  However, this  simply  irritates 
        the  child.   Children need to be switched until  the  rebellious 
        spirit  is  broken  and  their crying is  no  longer  angry,  but 
        repentant.   We  are not to carnally correct  our  children,  but 
        firmly  administer the rod or some other proper chastening  in  a 
        right  manner.  Many parents are undecided about how  to  correct 
        their  son  or daughter; consequently, the little child  has  the 
        father  and  mother  under his control.  He  is  saying  to  them 
        essentially, "I am going to do what I want to do."
        
             (I  never once told my father that.  If I had said  anything 
        back  to him, I would have been on my back quickly, and  that  is 
        where I should have been.  It would have been good for me.
        
             (If  our children aren't corrected early, they are going  to 
        grind  us to powder someday.  People will tell me, "I just  can't 
        control  my  twelve-year-old  son."  If you  can't  control  your 
        twelve-year-old son, he will have you in the courts one of  these 
        days.   He  will  go his own way and break you  to  pieces.   Our 
        children  must be disciplined, but we must  discipline  ourselves 
        first.)
        
             When my brother brought his little son back upstairs to  the 
        sanctuary,  he  sat  him beside him on the pew  and  that  little 
        fellow sat quietly.  He started once to make a little move and my 
        brother  said,  "You be quiet."  Looking up at his  father,  that 
        little  guy knew that he would get another whipping if he  didn't 
        mind.  He sat right back on the pew and behaved like a reasonable 
        child from then on whenever he was in church.
        
             When  I  look  into the faces of little ones,  I  often  see 
        things  in  their lives which frighten me.  It is  difficult  for 
        parents to see these harmful attitudes lurking under the  surface 
        of their child's personality.  But as we discipline ourselves  to 
        the walk with God, the Holy Spirit will begin to help us detect
        
84
        
        
        elements  in our own natures which need the correction  from  our 
        Heavenly  Father.  While we are being corrected, occasionally  we 
        are granted better understanding of how we need to discipline our 
        own children.
        
             Sometimes your child will display a spirit of  disobedience, 
        rebellion,  stubbornness,  harshness, impatience, or  many  other 
        carnal  attitudes for which you will need to discipline him.   In 
        the  process of chastening your child, you will be  chastened  as 
        well by your Heavenly Father for a similar spirit hidden in  your 
        own heart.
        
             There  is much for God to do within each of us, if  we  will 
        only yield to His all-wise hand.  He knows that, unless a  parent 
        is cleansed and filled with the Spirit, the discipline from  that 
        parent  is  liable to be angry and carnal, which can do  as  much 
        damage to the child as no discipline at all.  Our  chastening 
        must be controlled by the Holy Spirit, not by anger or wrath, for 
        carnal  tactics  never  help, but hinder.    We  must  be 
        disciplined ourselves, and our little ones must be given  loving, 
        consistent correction.
        
             When our youngest daughter's child was only a few weeks old, 
        she would take her bottle so rapidly.  It concerned me some, so I 
        told  my daughter and son-in-law, "Why don't you simply take  the 
        bottle  out of her mouth every thirty seconds or so and  let  her 
        rest  for  a  few moments.  That way it will be  better  for  her 
        digestion,  and she will be learning disappointment at  the  same 
        time."
        
             (I  rarely tell anyone what to do, for a man of God is  slow 
        to give advice to anyone, except to encourage them to love  Jesus 
        with all their hearts and to obey His will.  However, my youngest 
        daughter  and her husband are striving to follow Jesus  the  best 
        they know how, and have asked me to tell them whenever God  shows 
        me  something concerning them.  A number of other dear ones  have 
        requested  me to do this also.  It has not always been  easy  for 
        me, but it has been good.)
        
             At first, each time the bottle was removed from her mouth,
        
85
        
        
        that  little child screamed and fussed.  She didn't like  it  one 
        bit.   Of course, she was a darling child, but she simply  wanted 
        her  food at her time and at her speed.  We are all exactly  like 
        that.  This is the Carnal Nature.  This inborn self-will is  what 
        we  acquired  from the Fall in the Garden, and it is  much  worse 
        than I could ever share with you.  I know that I have only a very 
        limited view of the desperate wickedness of the heart, but what I 
        do see frightens me.
        
             After ten days of having the bottle periodically  withdrawn, 
        that  little child became accustomed to taking her  milk  slowly.  
        Her parents could remove the bottle from her mouth and she  would 
        simply  rest  and wait.  It required ten days for her  nature  to 
        become  accustomed  to this denial.  She knew by  then  that  the 
        bottle would return.  While she waited, her tummy was resting and 
        her nervous system was learning to be disappointed.  If we do not 
        early learn to take disappointments in stride, we will grow  into 
        adults who are immature in behavior.  We will be at the mercy  of 
        any sudden difficulty or every change of circumstance.
        
             Because of this method of early disappointment,  accompanied 
        with consistent chastening and correction, this child is able (by 
        God's  grace  only)  to take disappointment  with  a  minimum  of 
        upheaval.   She  is pleasant to be around and a very  happy  two-
        year-old.   And--may I share something for the  encouragement  of 
        parents?--This  little girl loves her mother about as much  as  I 
        have ever seen a child love a parent: yet, her mother has spanked 
        her  severely ever since she knew that the infant  could  discern 
        between "yes" and "no".  She was five months old when her  mother 
        could   recognize  that  she  had  a  knowledge  of  obeying   or 
        disobeying.
        
             I  am  certain  that when a child is grown  he  will  seldom 
        return to his parents and say, "Mother and Dad, thank you for not 
        spanking me when I was growing up."  But, most children who  have 
        been  lovingly and consistently disciplined will return to  their 
        parents  many  times  with  the words,  "I  am  so  thankful  you 
        chastened me hard, Dad, when I was a kid.
        
86
        
        
        Mom,  thanks  for loving me enough to punish me.  I  needed  more 
        whippings than I received."
        
             There  is  a mystery in correcting a child,  and  it  defies 
        analysis  by the intellect.  We know it is absolutely  necessary, 
        because  the  wisest man in history (except for  Jesus)  gave  us 
        several  specific instructions regarding child-rearing.  Most  of 
        these  tell us to use the "rod of correction" when the  child  is 
        disobedient.  In fact, he said that if you "hate" your child you
        will spare the rod; if you "love" him, you will chasten him  before
        it is too late.  At another place he says, "Foolishness is bound in
        the heart of a child; but the rod of correction will drive  it  far 
        from him."*
        
             He  counsels parents to chasten a child while there  is  yet 
        hope,  and "let not thy soul spare  for  his  crying."  These 
        admonitions are recorded in the book of Proverbs, which also contains 
        the promise, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he
        is old he will not depart from it."  Many Christian parents cling to
        this latter promise, but have failed to comply with the many  specific 
        instructions to also chasten and correct the child sternly.  Consistent
        chastening is much of what it means to "train up a child in the way he
        should  go."  Many think this scripture simply means to take their
        children to Sunday school and church, and to teach them the doctrines
        of salvation and repentance.  But, to "train up a child in the way he
        should  go" means that we are preparing him to walk with God.  The
        "way he should go" is in lowly following of Jesus.  We are to bring
        that child's rebellious inner nature to an obedient and submissive
        character.
        
            If the child is not taught to obey his parents,  he  will 
        have difficulty obeying God.  It will not be easy for the 
        undisciplined  child to comprehend God's absolute authority  over 
        his  life  when  he is converted.  Jesus wants to  lead  all  His 
        people,  but so few are prepared as children by their parents  to 
        obey  without  question  or debate.  This  explains  to  a  great 
        measure
        
        *See end of chapter for other scriptures related to correction.
        
87
       
        
        why  God  has seldom been able to find a people who  will  really 
        trust Him and obey Him.  As children growing up, we have had  our 
        own  way for so long that we can scarcely grasp the  fact,  after 
        conversion,  that  God's  desires supersede  our  own  plans  and 
        wishes.
        
             We  tend  to  treat God in a similar manner as  we  did  our 
        parents.  We expect God to give in to our wants and permit us  to 
        run  things along the lines of our own ideas.  Because  of  early 
        self-assertive patterns, few in all the ages have been willing to 
        die out to Self sufficiently to really consistently do God's will 
        and not their own.
        
             To  correct a child from his own ways into an  obedient  and 
        submissive behavior is not easy.  It cannot be done without God's 
        help, without His constant wisdom and counsel.  To the  observer, 
        correction appears cruel.  But the mystery is that it is just the 
        opposite--it  is ultimate kindness.  Correction  grows out  of  a 
        heart deeply rooted in divine love.  To do less leads, sooner  or 
        later, to tragedy.
        
             As  we begin to walk with God, leaving behind the ideas  and 
        opinions  of  the earth,  He will begin to teach us of  the  love 
        hidden in His chastening arm.  He will begin to reveal the future 
        gifts that are ours because of His present denials.  He will open 
        to  our  limited  vision  the great  principle  of  His  Kingdom: 
        "He that loses his life shall find it." He will make plain the 
        understanding that in having our own way, we always lose; but in
        yielding to His inscrutable wishes, though it appears we are losing
        all we had desired or hoped for, we are actually brought into a land 
        laden  with more than we had ever dreamed possible, all  for  His 
        glory and honor.
        
             My parents instructed me in many areas.  Mother told me  how 
        I  should  treat  my wife if I were to be married:  to  be  kind, 
        gentle,  and thoughtful.  I was never to say to her, "I wish  you 
        would  have prepared this like my mother," or, "I wish you  could 
        do  this  like  my mother."  She taught me to  consider  ways  of 
        expressing kindness to others.
        
             All six sons were instructed in washing floors, dusting, and
        
88
        
        
        keeping  house.   We  were taught to cook  simple  meals  and  be 
        independent.   Mother constantly advised us to keep our  clothing 
        neat  and  to hang them carefully in the closet when  we  removed 
        them.    She  instructed  me  in  integrity,   cooperation,   and 
        thoughtfulness.
        
             My  father taught me to be conscious of all  my  investments 
        and purchases.  "Never purchase anything when you can't see  your 
        way  clear,"  he  would say.  I was shown never  to  be  involved 
        financially above that which I was able to bear.  "If a man loses 
        his  credit,  he  has lost everything," Dad told  me.   "A  man's 
        credit  is his word, and his word should be as good as his  note, 
        if not better."
        
             I was taught to be truthful.  My father said that he hated a 
        a  liar more than a thief.  "You can watch a thief, but if a  man 
        tells you something that is untrue, you aren't sure whether  he's 
        telling  you the truth or not."  He drilled into me that  telling 
        untruths is a desperate, wicked thing.
        
             Along  this path of integrity and  honesty,  discipline  and 
        responsibility,  my parents led me and compelled me, for which  I 
        am deeply in debt to Jesus.
        
             The  following  are  references  from Proverbs, with which you
        are perhaps already familiar, but which I include for encouragement
        in what God's Word instructs us about child-rearing:
        
          "A wise son heareth his father's instruction;  but  a      
             scorner heareth not rebuke."  (13:1)
        
               "In  the  lips of him that hath  understanding  wisdom  is 
             found:  but  a rod is for the back of him that  is  void  of 
             understanding." (10:13)
        
               "He  that  spareth  his rod hateth his son:  but  he  that 
             loveth him chasteneth him betimes." (13:24)
        
               "Chasten  thy  son while there is hope, and  let  not  thy 
             soul spare for his crying." (19:18)
        
               "Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work  be 
             pure, and whether it be right...Train up a child in the  way 
             he  should go: and when he is old, he will not  depart  from 
             it." (20:11, 22:6)
        
               "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod 
             of  correction  shall  drive  it  far  from  him."   (22:15)  
        
        
89
        
                  
           "Withhold not correction from the child: for if  thou      
             beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.  Thou shalt beat           
             him  with  the rod, and shalt deliver his soul  from  hell."      
             (23:13,14)
        
               "The  rod  and reproof give wisdom: but a  child  left  to 
             himself bringeth his mother to shame." (29:15)
        
               "Correct  thy  son, and he shall give thee rest;  yea,  he 
             shall give delight unto thy soul." (29:17)    
        

90