Chapters:
1. Why Don't Men Obey God?
2. My Father
3. Narrow Escapes From Death
4. My Mother
5. My Father's Conversion
6. God First Speaks
7. Tithing Opens The Way
8. Childlike Faith
9. A Child's Prayer
10. Parental Discipline
11. Conversion
12. First Obedience
13. Jesus Reveals My Companion
14. Sanctification
15. Our First Pastorate
16. "Come With Me, Son..."
17. "...And Perfect Will Of God"
18. Ordination
19. Baptized With The Holy Spirit
20. The Calling
21. Spiritual Burdens
22. Leaving All
23. Waiting On God
24. Home Built By Faith
25. Warning From A Watchman
26. The Beginning
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1923---A. E. Helm with his first Standard Oil truck.
1925---A. E. Helm with three of his sons: Richard, Warren
and Terrance
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4 MY MOTHER
My mother's childhood was so sweet, I understand. She lived
across from her Grandfather and Grandmother Dickson and, oh, how
they did love her. She looks back and remembers, "It was love
always. I wasn't pampered. It just seemed that what they said,
I believed."
Often her folks would be gone and would leave her at Grandpa
and Grandma Dickson's. When she began to be sleepy, she would go
up to her grandfather and say, "Pap, this pillow is getting
heavy." Then he would get up, fix the pillow on the round of the
rocker and rock her to sleep.
"They lived what they preached," Mother has told me.
"Grandpa was an old Civil War Veteran, leaving his family to
go help free the precious slaves. The only things
Grandmother had when he went to war were her cows, her
chickens, and what she could raise. The only money she had
she earned by knitting socks or stockings for other people.
Her folks, the Butlers, came through as pioneers from
Virginia in an old ox cart. Grandmother was about three
years old when they arrived here in Indiana. They were
truly godly people."
Loran O. Dickson, my mother's father, grew up in his
father's blacksmith and wood shop. He was a skilled mechanic and
could make almost anything in iron or wood, but everything had to
be just right. He would work on one job all day to make sure it
was absolutely correct, even if he made only fifty cents on it.
He was not one to put work out merely to make money, but a man to
do the job accurately and precisely.
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I remember waking early in the mornings to the sound of my
Grandfather Dickson pounding on his anvil. I would ask my mother
if I could go down and watch him work, and sometimes she would
let me go. I observed him as he put the steel into the intense
heat of the coals. If he left the iron in long enough, and if it
got red enough, he could do something with it. I would see him
take the iron or the steel from the forge, lay it over the anvil,
then begin to pound it and shape it. Whatever shape was needed
from that metal, round or square, he could form it on the anvil.
God is likewise wanting to fashion our lives into unique
patterns of His loveliness, but first He must find us surrendered
to the fire of His purpose. There is much refining to be done in
us, and, as in my grandfather's forge, it requires the fire.
Sometimes it is the fire of His love as we wait in secret. Often
it is the fire of affliction. Occasionally it is the fire of
persecution. But God places us in the fire that we might be made
malleable to His higher purposes.
I heard a pastor once tell a story of a godly blacksmith who
was afflicted much of the time. People would ask him, "Why are
you so afflicted? Why are you so tried? If God loves you, and
you love God so much, why are you so tested?"
And he replied, "When I reach in with my tongs and take out
that red-hot steel, I can tell when I put it across the anvil and
strike it the first time whether it is going to take temper and
bend. If it won't take temper, I scrap it. God is trying to
temper me so that I will bend easily to His purpose and won't end
on the scrap heap."
Most people will not take the temper; they won't accept the
bending; they refuse to be smitten. Few are willing to bend from
self-desires to the purpose of God. Many persons who begin with
Jesus at conversion are unwilling to press on into obedience that
they might be shaped according to His will. They get out of the
hand of God by going their own way, making their own plans, and
arranging their own lives. Few throughout the centuries have
learned the mystery
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of God's divine hand molding and shaping the lives of His beloved
ones.
Oh, how God wants to take out of us the many things which
hinder Him. There is so much in a man when he thinks he can
still do something in himself. God has revealed to me that we can
do nothing but fail. Therefore, He must refine out of us many
wrong attitudes and considerable self-reliance before we begin to
discover that we are only full of failure. Until we are
willing to be nothing, God can shape us very little, if any
Grandfather Dickson died in 1941 when I was twenty five. I
cannot reminisce long about him without weeping, for he was a man
tall in nobility. He was a man of great meekness. Most persons,
unless they have been thoroughly cleansed by the Spirit, can
sometimes become jealous or angry and rage when they don't get
their way. But my grandfather underwent great suffering, and
passed through situations which would break you heart if I would
share them; yet, he did not complain or murmur. As a boy I can
remember hauling gravel, shucking corn, and building fence with
him while on the farm. Not once did he become angry with me or
get after me.
He was one of those rare men who was willing to go the
second mile. I can recall that after his hip had been crushed,
the doctors didn't know until too late how seriously he had been
hurt. The hip joint healed imperfectly and afterwards pained him
severely at almost every step. Yet, when Joyce Lee, our first
daughter, was born and my wife was recuperating in her parents'
home, Grandfather Dickson came to Taylor University to stay with
me and assist me. We lived in a little apartment upstairs, and
he climbed those steps through much pain in that injured hip with
very little said about it.
You see, my weeping is because of pleasant memories of a man
very rare in the earth. I have seldom seen his like in all of my
travels. My father said of Loran O. Dickson and his
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brother, Tom--because of the gracious spirit in their lives--that
they stood head and shoulders above other men in the community.
He has told me many times, "I wish I had been more understanding
of my father-in-law. He was a bigger, greater man than I was
able to esteem at that time."
It was his sister, Aunt Libb, who was such a gracious,
gentle, compassionate woman. She and her husband, Uncle Billy,
loved me very much from the time I was first born. I recall
Uncle Billy putting on a record of an old hymn: "How tedious and
tasteless the hours." The memory of this song lingers in my
heart over the years--
"How tedious and tasteless the hours
When Jesus no longer I see:
Sweet prospects, sweet birds, and sweet flowers
Have all lost their sweetness to me.
The mid-summer sun shines but dim,
The fields strive in vain to look gay;
But when I am happy in Him,
December's as pleasant as May."
-Words by John Newton, 1725-1807
He would sit in the old chair as this precious hymn would
play and tears would course from his kind eyes, over his round
cheeks, and drop into his lap.
As I mentioned earlier, my mother's mother, Elizabeth
Dickson, was an equally unique and gifted individual. Her
parents came from near Cincinnati, Ohio. Her father`s parents,
the Clarks, were religious people. My great-grandfather Clark, a
genuine and humble person, did daily work on the farm. Great-
grandmother Clark was an orphan girl. Her mother died when she
was a baby, so she was passed from one home to another until my
great-grandfather married her. She was a step-mother to his six
children. Elizabeth often felt that Grandfather Clark's six
children loved Grandmother Clark as much as the children of their
own marriage. Great tenderness was in her life.
Elizabeth Clark Dickson was gifted in caring for the sick.
She not only cared for her own family, she was called into
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different homes around the community to help in time of sickness.
In fact, families would often ask for "Lizzie" before they would
call a doctor, so confident were they of her skills. "She just
seemed to know what to do," it was said of her. She was with
many women when they gave birth to their children. "I used to
wonder where she had gone when I got up in the morning," Mother
tells me. "I would get up and find her gone, only to discover a
little later that a tiny baby had come to live at `so-and-so's
house'."
Lizzie had the ability to go into a home and simply take
over all the responsibilities. It didn't seem to upset her.
Years later, when my father was her son-in-law, he often said,
"If Grandma was there, everything was alright. I didn't have any
worries when she was present. She was just like my own mother."
Elizabeth was a woman of faith, of integrity, of service--a woman
of sharing.
Her last activity before her mortal sickness was,
appropriately, in service to others. While sweeping the church on
a Wednesday evening in preparation for worship, she unexpectedly
had a severe gall bladder attack. Thursday they took her to the
hospital, but at first her fever was much too high for surgery.
When they were finally able to operate, there was little that the
physicians could do, for her gall bladder had burst.
The pain was intense, but she never complained. When the
doctor would come to inquire of her condition, she would say,
"You have other patients to see about. Don't worry about me."
The doctors and nurses in that hospital concurred that she dwelt
in the areas of outstanding faith and nobility. One of the
leading surgeons of that time remarked that he had never seen
anyone like my grandmother Dickson, for she was always wanting
him to help somebody else rather than to attend to her.
When Elizabeth was dying my mother was beside her, holding
her hand. Grandmother had been so weak she could
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hardly move her arms, but suddenly she raised her arms and said,
"Oh, child!--Child, there is Jesus!"
Amazed, my mother asked, "Mother, do you see Jesus?"
"Oh, yes," she answered, "just as plain as I see you. He is
beautiful! Look right up there. Jesus is here! Oh--there is a
light in The Valley of Death. I see Jesus, Child! He is
wonderful. I can see now why all earthly things don't mean
anything," she told my mother. "I see now why you didn't want
to work in all those organizations," (for my mother had had an
unusual experience with God some time before this and had felt
led to withdraw from several organizations of men). "Oh, I can
see Jesus! He is marvelous!"
While my grandmother was dying, she was privileged to see
Jesus. When you can see Jesus, all these earthly things don't
mean a snap of the fingers. The only thing that is going to
matter is whether Jesus Christ has been first in your life; and
He will mean so much more to you at death than I can tell you
now.
And yet, as I say these words--even as I am speaking them--I
know that very few will actually hear me. When I am in the
pulpit and humbly striving to declare the whole counsel of God
with all my might, somehow I have the realization that scarcely
any of the people can hear what I am telling them. I will be
preaching the best I know, as faithfully as I can, and while I am
preaching I can tell that the demon powers are stealing the
Gospel truths right out of the people's minds.
When the sermon or exhortation is ended, instead of being
contrite in their hearts, so often the congregation talks about
farms, cars, and ball games. Instead of crying out in
brokenness, "Oh, Lord, I am so needy!"--they chatter about home,
children, the job, and any other thing but the will of God and
the love of Jesus.
You see, beloved, my heart is broken in church after church
all across this country. The people are precious in every
church. They are kind and generous; they would do anything
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to help: but very few are hearing the true Christian message of
self-denial, of the cross, of trust and obedience, down deep in
their heart. There might be one, two, or three in an entire
congregation who are getting the message of true Christianity
inside the heart.
If dear ones were getting the message, they would be heart-
broken. They would be weeping and crying. This is a fact. My
heart weeps when I see how lost the world is and how far the
church is from God's will. Jesus said, "Blessed are they that
mourn, for they shall be comforted." But the professed church
has this in reverse: after a man of God preaches, there is often
laughter, light conversation, and joking among ourselves instead
of repentant tears. It seems that some are saying, "Blessed is the
man who has a hi-ho time and is able to get the boys to laugh."
Oh, my friends! Jesus cried out to His age and almost no
one among the church leaders heard Him. Even the handful of His
closest followers, who observed mighty miracles day after day,
fell asleep when it came to the hour when Jesus most needed them.
And Jesus witnesses to me that the professed church today is
spiritually three times more asleep than the apostles were in the
Garden of Gethsemane. Think of that!--In about all churches
today we are three times more asleep than the apostles were when
Jesus needed them most.
I am so thankful that my grandmother had a heart awake to
the life of Christ so that she could see Jesus as she was leaving
this earth. Praise the Lord.
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